Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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