wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did i walk over a car last night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
