D3 body, D1 cock
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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