you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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