I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize