i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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