you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The air was thick with penises
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
