It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
