After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
