This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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