I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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