i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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