Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
