just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
