if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
