Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm getting married
To pizza
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize