Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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