Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
