dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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