Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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