I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
