hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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