how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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