Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
