Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
