I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
