the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize