I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
