Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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