Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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