It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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