So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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