booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
