Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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