You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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