Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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