Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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