So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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