i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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