Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
