just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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