so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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