I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
