If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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