the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
