I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Acid is not a monday night drug
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
