Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
