We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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