New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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