dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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