I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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