your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
