Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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