So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
