i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
