So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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