Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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