He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
