We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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