No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
