hotel room ftw
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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