5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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