Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
