I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
